How do I expect to be able to “handle” things like Olivia Pope when I act more like Brennan Huff when it comes to my finances? Why do I await roommates like Monica & Rachel, when I know that Garfield is more obtainable? And, how I do I expect dating to be like Pretty Woman when I don’t live in LA, nor, am I a prostitute? When we’re in our twenties, there are three relationships that can have a big impact on our overall wellbeing, these three relationships are between ourselves: our money, our roommates, and yes - our significant others. Has pop culture failed us when it comes to these relationships? While I support wallowing in self pity from time to time when it is warranted, when it comes to money, roommates, and dating, we may not be doing ourselves any favors.
Money: R2-D2 vs. a W-2
One of the burdens of growing up is starting to realize that more, and more, things cost money - for instance, we learn that water isn’t actually (always) free. Plus we have to dish out money for apartment rent, car payments, car insurance, phone bills, sandwich condiments, the list goes on and on. Once reality sets into place, the one word of advice we are given is to: budget.
“Have you budgeted any money for emergencies?”
“Do you even know how much money it takes to fix a refrigerator?”
“Once you’re 22, it isn’t acceptable to revolve your budget around a box of wine.” (Uh, okay, like anyone is going to believe that one).
But, either way, budgeting is a fairly simplistic process until you start to factor in things like, taxes and school loans. I remember the first time I filled out the FAFSA and I thought maybe it wasn’t in English, maybe, I accidentally hit F9 and it had turned the entire website into code. “W-2... W-2... I know I’ve heard of that before... Is it a Starwars character?” In desperation, I pulled out the $100 geometry calculator I still had from high school. You would think that a calculator of that magnitude could do my freaking taxes, but no... Or maybe it could, but the operator couldn’t.
So, I conclude that right there, is the problem. We learned the Pythagorean Theorem, but they forgot to show us what items are tax deductible. We learned how to find the circumference of a circle, but they never showed us how to write out a check (literally, I’ve had to google an image of a check before). Either way, if we continue to let other people take care of our finances, we will never be able to do them ourselves. Instead of pushing these responsibilities off on our parents, being active in this process can only help us in the long run. Or, at least, we need to learn the right people to hire.
Roommates: Friends or foe?
There are an array of television shows about roommates in their twenties living happily ever. But, having had six (non related) roommates so far in my life, it’s safe to say that all of the shows, including Friends (even though we don’t want to admit it), are fiction. Now, I’ve had good roommates, and bad roommates. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself a good roommate, hold on to them as tightly as your dad holds on to his New Balance grass-mowing sneakers. But, if you’re in search of a roommate, I have developed a foolproof equation for finding the perfect roommate. This equation is absolutely true, simpler than doing your taxes, and it is my gift to you for reading my blog (which I really appreciate).
Here it is:
1 person + 1 person (in cohabitation) = inevitable annoyance
1 person + 1 cat (in cohabitation) = inevitable bliss
[note to reader: 1 cat can be replaced by 1 dog if you’re okay with a higher maintenance relationship]
[IMPORTANT note to reader: 1 cat can be replaced by 50 cats if your landlord is cool]
I know this may not sound like science, but I can promise you with 100% certainty that a cat will NEVER: leave dirty dishes in the sink, get upset if you come in late, have an annoying significant other, or double dip their spoon in the peanut butter jar (I’m that roommate). Thus, a cat is the perfect roommate for you. You’re welcome.
Dating: Can your expectations meet reality?
When people talk about their relationships in terms of happiness, how often do we rate our relationships based off of what “we deserve?” I’d say more often than not, “getting what we deserve” is on the top of the relationship satisfaction list. Now, there is nothing wrong with having expectations about your relationship, and I am in no way telling you to settle for an a**hole, but a line has to be drawn.
We’re told that dating in your twenties is supposed to be romantic, lively, and exciting. My adult life has not been full of dating, but the conclusion I can draw from my experience (or lack there-of), as well as my friend’s experiences, is that dating isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Or, there is the possibility that I am just drawn to the dull part of our population. But, either way, at some point, we might have to realize dating just isn’t what it use to be, in fact - some people don’t really “date” at all.
What we are told the perfect equation for a date night is:
1 couple + dinner + movie = date night
What a typical date night actually is:
1 couple + 2 ipads = date night
Now, I’m not sure when we stopped dating, and started pinning date ideas on Pinterest. Or, when dinner and a movie turned into take-out and ipads in bed. But, to tell you the truth, I’m okay with it. I’m not saying that we don’t deserve a night out on the town, or to be wine-and-dined, I’m just saying that we shouldn’t always expect the things we used to because the dating-game isn’t the same anymore.
So, as it appears, or as it appears to me (because I, also, have been guilty of all of these things), these three relationships would go a lot smoother if we helped ourselves out. Letting other people handle our financial affairs, living with roommates that we hate, and having over-the-top expectations about dating can all weigh heavily on our happiness. So remembering what we can do to help: we should all learn how to handle our money so that we can one day buy a house with someone who will let you eat Chinese food in their bed on a Saturday night, and help you do your taxes in April.
